A note of Missing You

 I woke up this morning with nothing. I was nothing, an empty person. Losing her is a tragedy for me. I know I have hurt her so much. I broke her heart and boundaries to the point that she's struggling. There's no  good in the good-bye. Last time, I prayed and kissed her, I was crying. After that, I told her, if you love me, why do you leave me? Since I was a child, people whom I love have left me when I really need them. When I said them, only two people. I broke her heart, I broke my head. What kind of man am I? She used to say, Riko, you are kind, you are good, you are gentle, you have a good heart, and I need and I love you. And, I still broke her heart and soul. I don't think she will love me again. Maybe, she already stop loving me. Maybe, I deserve this. Maybe she is not okay, too. I miss her so much. I am losing her, I am losing myself, a buffer of me and my faith and her.