Cicada

 I am very tired with myself :) :(

 Sioo ee Upuu Upuu latu Upuu lanite Upuu rohua Sioo ee au susah sandiri au balisa, pariki ea! ehe e ehenala au tehu hatuai kandio

 Life has not been up and down to me Sometimes it's heavy, most of the time is heavy actually Waking up is hard Sleeping at night is harder, too My brain is flooding with too much emotion and unwanted memories i keep repeat the path of my past sometimes I want crush some sometimes I want crush my self too I just wanna walk along the beach while holding hands with someone that stay in storm and calm in pain and happiness in life with me no matter what but yeah I don't know I am tired though of my life I wanna stop the time I wanna sleep but wake in the ocean I wanna breath in without having flashbacks I wanna do that and this but with you Geser, 2 April 2026  

 Entah mengapa, tiba-tiba aku merindu  si Januari awal tempat dulu bahu menjadi rindu adek begitulah semoga kamu gembira terus yah bersedihnya tidak banyak-banyak maaf yah sempat menjadi bebanmu menjadi orang yang kurang baik bagimu semangat adek Geser, April 2, 2026

 I am sorry for everything I ask for You to forgive me oh Upuu I was stupid I was depressed with these memories I did not choose to be born to grow between bombs, bullets, violence, abuses, war Give an answer, please I ask for You to forgive me and send me an answer too I don't blame the time, but so far I am not okay Thank you for forgiving me

But  mono, right now, don't got back to me right now, I am just an evil person worst than evil The monster inside me has risen up because of those memories I am sorry I am just wishing you hug me with your eyes your voice your songs your melody your spaghetti kiss your black coffee I am in love with you so much, nothing left though I love you, mono april, 1, 2026

 I did it, again, and again. I hate it, as it hates me inside. Yeah, I know once, she said: "You have a beautiful mind and a good heart." But she left, though, "I can't do it anymore." I don't know how to recover from that. I hate my life fuck off Mono, can you just say hi to me or just hug me please I am begging I wanna go to you left everything behind left Ambon But are you willing to stay with me? at my worst at my best at my nothing I am nothing without you without your love don't leave me please I am begging you You said, "Don't die before me." But, I arleady feel dead inside me, when we broke up I am not dramatising it you know how I am, right right? Please come to me to the ocean only we know I'll be waiting for you as I told you, if it's not you, I won't you know how much I love you Geser, 1 April 2026