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 A short reflection

First about sleep. Some love this; some need to drink a pill for this. When we were kids, we played every single day and refused to sleep in the afternoon. Some kids could play, but others needed to work to feed themselves. Even as a baby, we sometimes woke up at night while mama and papa were tired; but most of the time it was mama who was the one, because papa acted like a king instead of a papa or even a husband. Anyhow, now, as adults, we prefer to sleep more and more and more, and play more and more and more.  When we were playing as kids, the adults told us we acted like children, small creatures, and instead of playing, the kids should go to bed. Now, as an adult, I cannot sleep very well because of nightmares since my childhood, the fight-or-flight-freeze response, and most of the time I fought in that war. I was jealous of others’ childhoods and how they were able to sleep for 6 hours without waking up, without having so many complex nightmares. I don't know; am I still a child or an adult now? But I like how childish I am when I am talking with you; instead of hiding my night and its nightmares, you kind of help me to accept the memories and release them with a laugh and a small prayer inside of me, and even more, making me sleep better. I have to thank you, and I am grateful to have you on my journey. I make sure people will remember you too, I do remember you. I am grateful you are being created and exist. 

Second, who is an adult? When we were kids, people, or the adults, you know, they told us,  or the kids, to act and have a mindset like an adult. But how can you describe what an adult is and who an adult is? By their age, above 18+? By their education, having a degree after high school or university? By their occupation and its salary? Even salary, the money that we earn from giving and surrendering our time to play and sleep, to work a job that we don’t even like, we don’t even have the joy to be joyful like we were a kid playing in the sand and the waves in Ambon. So, who or what is an adult? Being religious, in order to prepare us to go to heaven? Praying five times and during the Juma’at, or going to Sunday service, praying the Rosary and the Novena to the Mother Mary? Or going to the temple and burn the stick, I don’t remember what it is called- but yeah, the red stick that people burn like a candle in the catholic church, and then we have to give some money, the donation, for the religious building or institutions. Some said that this is so the Supreme Being will give us more, including the money that we still need to earn by giving and surrendering our time to play and sleep as we were kids. So what now? Can someone answer what the description or requirements are? Or maybe being adults means you have to get married, have a wife or have a husband? What do you think, Titi? Hmmm? Actually, I think, I know your answer. Hahaha. We talked about that deeply. So yeah, just because someone getting married, it does not mean they are an adult, maybe only by age. However, many children under -18, also getting married, while people like me in my 30s are still wondering who wants to marry someone personally and particularly someone like me, who cannot sleep well due to childhood memories? So, am I an adult? I don’t know… But I do like spending time just to listen and talk with you, being included in your stories and sadness and happiness. 

So yeah, that is my short reflection of this morning. Thank you for being you, and keep being you, as Isyana sings Keep Being You. Just be you and you deserve to be you… Thank you and you, everything you are, anjaii Hindiaa.. hahaha

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